No ifs, ands or buts


written a few years ago but feels relevant today. 

There are so many times that all I want is for someone to recognize how hard it is to be a full-time stay-at-home mom. I just want someone, anyone, to recognize all that goes into this job that I'm doing. So much is demanded of me, and the majority of it is demanded by and for my kids.

So many times I cheapen my work by "yeah buts" or "justs". I'm just a mom. I stay home, but so does she, and she works and she goes to school. ...Yeah, but I didn't make a wildly successful small business out of thin air....Yeah, but I'm not working too. Yeah, but my kids are all healthy and we're not dealing with any health issues. Yeah, but my husband's church calling isn't as hard as her husband's. He's gone so much more and she STILL has time to write a book. She STILL has time to constantly serve others. Yeah, but everyone loves her....yeah, but I have three kids and don't look like...

yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but.

I am surrounded by wonderful, talented, creative and kind women. So many times I am influenced by their examples, their on-point style, their wit and charm, their creativity and kindness and spirit. They all do inspiring, special things and are really amazing...., and so many times I feel like I have nothing, do nothing, am nothing in comparison. I don't have a skill that I use to make money. I don't go to school. I don't even use the college degree I earned.

I make a mean biscuits and gravy
I can meal plan like a boss
I am the most efficient grocery shopper you'll ever find

When I have a to-do list a mile long and I finish it AND make a healthy dinner AND the house is relatively clean AND I'm in a pretty good mood...I feel on top of the world. I feel proud of what I accomplished that day.

But then I start thinking....really, that wasn't much. I see people do all of that AND more AND run a business AND work AND get paid AND get some kind of recognition, while my kids are bratty to me and run to their dad and prefer him the rest of the night as soon as he gets home from work. I feel so defeated when my entire day has revolved around my kids' schedules and making sure they've done at least one fun thing that day, made them a good dinner, read them books, cleaned up for them, etc, and they still don't appreciate what I've done all day for them.

Mostly I just want someone to recognize how hard it is, without all the if, ands or buts.

But, I just want you to know that I see you. I can see how hard your days are, your nights, the comparison, the guilt, the feeling of not doing enough, the feeling of doing too much, the feeling of being completely overwhelmed, so much so that you collapse into a blubbering pile of snot and tears. And I see you as you pull yourself together again and deal with whatever you were dealing with before, with a happy face, serving others, being more than you feel that you can be.

I'm blessed to be a mother, a woman with the likes of you. All of you. No matter how little and insignificant you feel. You do more good than you can see.


  1. I NEEDED this as I think these things daily. Thank you!

  2. Reading this made me realize I've been having a lot of these thoughts lately and they're bringing me down! Thanks for posting, I still love reading blogs every now and then. They are so much more personal than a little Instagram caption.

  3. I haven't read your blog in a while...and can I just say that you are amazing. You are a very gifted and talented writer and an inspiration!



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