infernal eternal winter

3.11.2014

 So. People.

I just want you to know it's March.
As in, the middle of March. (basically).

Guess what? IT'S STILL SNOWING HERE!

Hallelujah! Call the Blue Angels! How exciting, how inviting, how positively charming!
Snowing in March!

I feel like singing! I feel like jumping for joy! I feel like...

Ya.......NO.

No to all of that.
Scratch that....HELL NO TO ALL OF THAT!

The only thing I feel like doing is throwing up OR pulling all of my hair out of my head like a molting parrot.

THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH CAPS IN THE WORLD FOR HOW MUCH I HATE WINTER (!!!!)


I guess I should concede that winter really isn't that bad. (ok, yes it is). It's been above freezing maybe a handful of times since winter started, and the last few days, it's lured us into this cautionary optimism that spring might be coming...It was 45 DEGREES yesterday AND today! Seriously, all the kids came out in droves to play and I didn't wear a coat all day long. 45 doesn't sound warm...but when it's usually -11with a wind chill of negative death that cuts right through you skin and your bones turn into the worst kind of ice...well, that's basically like summer. But of course, just like the bitch upstate NY is, there's a storm coming tomorrow. A snow storm. Not a sunshine storm.

It never stops. And it's always snowing. And your car is always frozen and it takes 30 minutes to get warm.

The only way I can describe it: Painfully cold. Painfully.


And, you know, I really did love that one recently popular Disney movie about the princesses and the wintery powers and all that (you know which movie I'm talking about here?). She says the cold never bothered her anyway. And that's where we just can't jive. I don't even believe her, and we will never be best friends because of that small difference. Even if she can make beautiful ice castles and hilarious talking snowmen or whatever.




 But, you know me. I'm nothing if not optimistic.

So, one Saturday when Dale was actually home, we decided to trek out to the park at the back of our apartments and take Viv sledding on the teeny tiny hill - good memories and hot chocolate and all that jazz.
     



 Ya. She hated it.

     


Obviously.


California girl, eat your heart out.

So instead we're stuck inside doing this all day. Every day.

I've become very intimately close with my apartment and all of it's little nooks and crannies. I've learned which walls listen the best and where to catch the best ray of sunlight for the 5 minutes it's there. I've set up camp by my personal heater and curse the frigid temperatures that make it too painful to even walk from my front door to my car without the swear words in my head getting frozen on their way out.

Sure, we could go to the mall with the 2 stores and the food poisoning Chinese place in the food court. Sure we could wander around Target for the millionth time that week...or go to Wegman's and spend more food stamps money on expensive cheese and really good orange juice...but again. The cold. The painful cold.



Don't worry about calling the doctor. I"m already insane. Why can't we all just hibernate like bears?
Wake me up with I'm back in California getting skin cancer in a pool somewhere.

3 comments:

  1. I hear ya girl!!! I literally cried everyday last week because I couldn't go outside...having a baby didn't help with the crying either!! I'll pray for better weather for you and me cuz I'm kind of selfish ;) haha

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Stir Crazy,
    This made my day.
    The end.

    ReplyDelete
  3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QR5L1csqoA

    ReplyDelete

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