golden gate park, dudes

8.28.2013

 I'm feeling awfully homesick lately for the West Coast. I miss the sun and pool days and my bright apartment. I miss late night froyo runs and Mean Girls quoting sessions. I miss the easiness of friendships and the late night talks and sunday night dessert tradition with people we could swear in front of and make endless sex jokes, no judgement passed. Dale and I both miss the Bay Area something fierce and our friends something fiercer.

New York is nice. It's beautiful and new and has lots of potential. But you know the newness that comes with change? That really exciting newness? So many new directions for a life to take, you know? But then, a few weeks pass, you get into your day to day routine of the mundane, and the newness starts to fade like a shiny penny in the rain (see how I did that there?)

Pardon my inner drama queen. She tends to sneak her way out when I'm feeling upended, but I'll just say it: I'm in a funk. I'd rather stay in than out. I'd rather not shower than do. I'd rather blend into the shadows than try. I mean, making friends is hard, and digging out a niche for yourself in a new place is a lot of work. This funk makes it hard for me to feel motivated...I shy away from conversation and offer the least amount of information about myself that I can without being rude. I don't make the first move and I hold back as long as I can.

It's a phase, I know. But this funk phase? it's the hardest one to pull out of. It's hard to find motivation to do hard things when you know they'll be hard things for quite a while and you'd rather just be back in your comfort zone anyway. I mean, you know what I mean, right?. Does this even make sense? Are you rolling your eyes? Did you click the red x?

I'm doing fine, and most of me is trying really hard to be positive and outgoing and is mostly succeeding. But there is a part of me that is holding back with a death grip on my comfortable life back home, unwilling to let go. I think that's ok. But finding that balance is proving to be rather challenging.

I guess I'm up for it....

So anyway, the whole POINT of this post is to do a little throwback to that far away month of July when we were checking off our East Bay bucket list with gusto. Going to Golden Gate Park in San Francisco was one of those on the list.

And, you know. Golden Gate Park, right? It's huuuuuge. Huge-er than I even knew. Silly me, thinking I could get through it all in a day. (and with a baby?? HA. Don't make me laugh).

Our original plan was to rent bikes and dally our way through the park, stopping at the sites we wanted to see and basking in all of the homeless hippie glory. But wouldn't you know it, there were no baby seat attachments to be had. Anywhere. Ok...so option 2: walk.

Our first stop was at a pretty little carousel. I have a small obsession with all things old school carnival-ish, and this little guy is originally from the 1900's. Dale and Viv picked an ostrich to ride (of all the choices! Unicorns! Tigers!) and off they went. I loved the little music playing from a piano inside the middle of the ride and all the brightly painted whimsical animals dancing up and down

     




After that little jaunt in the park, we made it only a tiny bit father when we happened upon the Botanical Gardens. Redwood forests, succulent gardens, garden of fragrance and a Moon Viewing Garden It was....bigger than we thought it would be? as in, it took us forever to get through. As in, that ate up the rest of our day. I'm ok with that though, because, LOOK:

     



At one point, Viv fell asleep in her stroller, so Dale and I took the opportunity to have us a little date.  a little self-timer action on the camera and a few shameless selfies makes for a good time when tiny hands aren't pulling off your glasses and grabbing your hair. We sat on a park bench all alone in the vast Moon Viewing garden, listening to the quite hum of life and holding hands. Understatement: it was nice.





We made our way back through the gusty wind of the city, through the strung out teens in the Haight and past the charming victorian homes, and I took it all in. I filed away the smell of weed lingering in the air and the feel of that surprisingly cold San Francisco wind on my face. I didn't know when I would be there again. I miss that city so so much it makes my heart hurt. But, you know. Life happens, and I can't wait to venture back there again.

So, over and out, dudes.

2 comments:

  1. I understand your funk completely. I feel the exact same way right now. Just moved to a new city and I don't know anyone. Last week was exciting because we were still upacking and it was still so new and fun. But already the routines are setting in. I've been holed up in my house, wishing more than anything that some magic friends would just show up at my door and I wouldn't have to make the effort to go out and find them. Hope you are doing better than me, cause I am failing miserably.

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