real beauty

4.17.2013

Have you guys seen these Dove real beauty sketches video running around the internet the last couple days?

I watched it last night for the first time, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.



It got me thinking about how i would describe myself, and how I do most of the time:
Big bug eyes, the color of poop. My hair is the same color and so is my skin...boring and drab. I have a big Armenian nose and my forehead is really big. i have a dot of a scar smack dab in the middle of that huge forehead. My hair is frizzy and thick. My lips are way too big, and my teeth are seriously huge, like beaver teeth or something. My face is way too round, and it makes me look fatter than I really am. I have a huge butt and big hips that make me look so fat.
if i could change something, I would have bright green eyes with dark black hair that's straight and shiny. Pretty lips, smaller hips, a thinner face and non-squinty eyes when I smile. I could go on, but you get the point. If asked how to describe myself, this is probably a dramatized version of what I would say and what I've always thought. Depressing and negative, right?

It reminds me of this quote I've seen on Pinterest:





In the last few years I have become much more comfortable with who I am and rocking my own personal look. It has been liberating and wonderful, and I have been much happier as a result. I am teaching myself to not care what others think about me, and trying hard not to compare myself to others. It is definitely a long process and I have miles and miles to go, which is why I want to talk about this.

Let's talk about beauty.
Real beauty.

As women, I think it is one of the hardest things for us to accept that we are beautiful exactly the way we are made. Part of this is due to our tendency to ruthlessly compare our biggest faults (or so we think) to others' most wonderful and perfect features (or so we think). (And the other, bigger, more prevalent part is that ruthless evil called media....but that's another topic for another day).

How often do we as women focus on the negative things about ourselves? the things we wish we could change, the things we need to work on or the things we wish we had instead?

"gosh, my hips are huge!" "please, i hate my calves", "I've got man shoulders" "my hairline is so weird" "my nail beds suck!" "my pores are huge" "....i have really bad breath in the morning..."


This classic clip from Mean Girls is funny because it's so true. We girls berate ourselves. We are ruthlessly mean and harshly critical of our own bodies, but gentle and forgiving of others (most of the time).

How often do we get together and acknowledge the beautiful parts of unique selves? does this ever happen? How many women do you know who will graciously accept a compliment about their looks? In fact, I think society has warped what could be a humble acceptance and gratitude into a haughty, self-centered mentality instead. If we were to say something that we like about ourselves, we feel guilty, or haughty, or self-absorbed. It's much easier to commiserate and try to one-up each other with our very worst features, trying to make each other feel better by pointing out the flaws we hate about ourselves.


Why? Why does negativity supposedly make us feel better?
The truth is, it doesn't.
It makes us feel worse. It makes us more critical of ourselves and more critical of others. It forces us to reach for unrealistic ideals. It makes us unsatisfied with our special uniqueness, and it makes us wish for something completely different than who we really are.

The funny thing?
Even if we had everything we ever wanted, we still wouldn't be happy. There would still be plumper lips than ours, someone with perkier boobs than us, and someone in a smaller size than we ever would be. There would still be that perfect shade of hair that curls just so and those beautiful long legs that we would kill to have.

It's funny. And terrible.


I love this Dove video because it reminds us to love ourselves, something I desperately needed to be reminded of. It reminded me to recognize and love my face, my body and myself. It reminded me that we are far too harsh on ourselves. Try to see yourself like others see you.

All day yesterday and today I have been thinking about this video and how it applies to me. It got me thinking about how I describe myself and how others might see me.


Because this is so hard for me to do, I'm making myself do it. It's really almost impossible for me to say something that I love about myself without coming back with a "but! I hate this....".
I won't do that.
Today, I'll say the things I love about myself, and I won't be ashamed to proudly recognize them.


I love my eyes. I think they are beautiful and exotic, and they are my favorite feature.
I think my lips make me sexy. they are full and big and stick out in a perpetual pout...and that's cool, because kissing comes naturally to those pouty lips. bonus!
My hair has become more and more fun the less I've tried to control it. I love that it's thick and wild and unruly.
I love my olive skin tone. It tans nicely and gives me color even in the dead of winter. it's easy to wear any color of lipstick with and mostly forgiving.
lastly and the hardest realization has been my big ole hips and ass. I mean, I have a badonkadonk, you know? but guess what? So does Beyonce, and so does JLO! I'll just rock it with the best of them! My hips will not change. That's how I am made. no matter how much I work out, the shape is still the same. I can't get rid of bone, and that's just how it is.


I wanted to ask you guys to do the same. Look at yourselves. Really look. Find the things that you love about yourself, no matter how difficult it may be. Find your unique beauty and tell me about it. Chances are that I already think the things that you say are beautiful too. It's funny how strangers can pick up on our real inner beauty faster than we can.

Post a link to a blog post in the comments or just leave a comment telling me something that you love about yourself. I can't wait to see what you find.

Because you are more beautiful than you think you are.

9 comments:

  1. You ARE beautiful and all of these comments on beauty are so spot on! I loved hearing your thoughts. I like my hair most of the time...when I actually take the time to help it out a little.

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  2. So I was in the middle of sending you this link yesterday when my brain remembered something random and my quest was never complete. However you have awesomely written this and as previously said spot on!!
    I think I rock some sweet cheek bones and have embraced that I am so so short. But who doesn't love someone shorter than themselves? Am I right?!
    I love you - and your butt!

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  3. i saw this video floating around the blogosphere, and thought it was such a cool concept. love love LOVE your post too. you inspired me, so i thought i'd join you in this movement, so here's mine: http://peonyforyourthought.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-we-see-ourselves.html

    :)

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  4. Loved this post.. Seriously! very well written my friend! I like my eyes.

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  5. Loved this post.. Seriously! very well written my friend! I like my eyes.

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  6. Love this. You, lady, are a beauty. Your outlook on this video is wonderful. And that quote that reminds us to talk about our joys and not our problems? I really needed to read that.

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  7. Loved this so much! I linked up on my blog! Check it out!

    www.hellogloua.com

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  8. I totally own that shirt! But this is so true. have you seen the gimmick one they made for the men? Hilarious!!

    Glenna May
    www.finallysomethingtoblogabout.blogspot.com

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  9. i absolutely loved this post and i linked up on my blog. :) thanks for the post it really was so inspiring i was thinkin about it for days!

    morgan

    morganandnormanreece.blogspot.com

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