judgy eyes and karma that comes to bite you in the ass

8.30.2012

Today, I had one of those "mom days".
Tell me you've had days like this.

Do you know the ones I'm talking about?

I mean, the morning was good. The morning was great! Viv greeted me with a huge smile from her crib when she woke up, we played, she ate all of her peas, and she even took a really long nap.

Then we went to the doctor. And the doctor means shots.


So ya. That always sucks.

I'm not the type to cry when my kid is getting shots, but I DO hate looking like the bad guy when the nurse makes me pin the baby's arms down and stare into her eyes while pain is being inflicted. Therefore, mom is inflicting pain. With no remorse.

It's a conspiracy.

So as payback, my baby screamed the entire time I'm doing errands. And I really needed to do these errands (H&M was calling my name!!). But really.

I mean, I used to like, shoot the ole' judgy eyes at moms whose babies were throwing fits in the store and all they would do is stand there and go about their business. Like we want to listen to their annoying kid scream his lungs out, you know! have some RESPECT people! We're trying to relax and SHOP. When I'm a mom, I'll never do that.

And that was my internal dialogue, back in the day when I was perfect and had it all figured out.

(by the way. never say never, my friends. Because when you say the judgy "never" in reference to moms and kids, it means that you are inviting karma to come bite you hard in the ass.)

But today, I was THAT mom. The kind that lets her baby cry, because no matter what I do, she's gonna cry. Oh, the judgy eyes. And, you know, judgy eyes I can handle, because I'll just have that aloof and untouchable and haughty and pissed off look. But judgy comments said just loud enough for me to hear, muttered to a friend, but directed at me....well those, I can't handle.

"Oh, someone's hungry!"
"Oh, poor baby! You just want to be held!"
"geez! That poor baby!"
"Wow, don't let her fall out of the stroller!"
ETCETERA, ETCETERA!

Or the teller at the store who, instead of just giving me my DAMN change, decided that it was her job to try and stop my baby from crying. From across the counter. By saying, "Oh poor baby! Stop crying! Stop crying! No crying!" and then she looks at me all expectant-like, to which I just glare at her and say, "Ya. She's not gonna stop" {cue forced fake smile}.

and YES, she was fed, and YES, she was changed, and YES, she was tired, but she usually falls asleep. But not this time.

So by the time I'm done with my errands, we're in full-fledged hysteria here, I have no hands to hold said baby AND push the stroller AND hold my bags, and it's searingly hot, and it's a good thing I wore a white shirt because I have major sweatage EVERYWHERE, and people from across the street are turning around to stare, and I'm just pushing that stupid stroller with all my stupid bags across the stupid sidewalk so I can get to my stupid car so I can listen to this stupid temper tantrum in peace as fast as I can.

Then said baby screams the entire way home, except 2 minutes from my house, she zonks out.

Whew!

Let's watch Vampire Diaries and eat an entire bag of cookies!

And then, I find myself laughing, because for entertainment tonight, I sat in the rocking chair while Viv sat in her bouncer, and we both looked in the mirror, and I sang along to my Pandora Disney songs station as loud as I could, with vibrato and a pencil, and Viv just smiled and laughed and had a grand ole' time for a full 30 minutes. Just sitting (which never happens).



And I thought to myself, as I'm sitting there singing loudly with disheveled hair and a stained shirt and my pants unbuttoned,

"Wow. The things that moms will do."


And I'm still laughing about my absurd day as Dale runs to In N' Out at 10 PM to get us burgers.

9 comments:

  1. Haha I'm totally impressed by you, for whatever it counts. Motherhood intimidates me beyond reason.

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  2. You are so right! NEVER say never!!! I have learned my lesson about that many times! You are hillarious and I love your posts!

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  3. Umm HELLO BOOTS! SO CUTE! I had mentally just added these to my fall wish list. You are so ahead of the game... always.

    And on babies and motherhood.....I'm screwed. I better eliminate the word never from my vocab and start practicing my Disney vibrato. (these pics are hilarious btw).

    Also, love the dress hanging on the wall. Perfect addition!

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  4. I feel like I have so much to look forward to now. ^_^ Hahaha! Oh and by the way....I agree with the post above--DARLING boots!

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  5. People's comments are the worst. I was kinda hoping this post ended with you telling someone off, but singing loudly to Disney songs and eating In n Out is also a good solution.

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  6. Just so you know....I'm still eating my words!

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  7. Hahaha I am so glad you posted pictures of you singing to Viv! No one would ever want to see pics of me doing that with my kids...it's not pretty. Oh and don't you love that when kids throw those tantrums it just makes you crave cookies! I am DEAD SERIOUS! Every time Millie and Brax conspire against me I run to the cupboard for something not good for me! haha Being a mom is the best! :)

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  8. I love this post. You are such a cute Mom, and tell it like it is. I too, was hoping you told someone off:) I have totally been there several times.

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  9. I love your blog, and even more importantly: THIS POST! HAHAHA. I feel bad for all those times I have mercilessly stared (so hard!) at those poor moms whose kids are freaking out.

    I will be reading more often!

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