coition (new vocab).


Maybe this is a taboo subject to put on a blog. Maybe it's TMI

I already know I don't have a filter, but I just have to know. I have to know!

So. We have these neighbors. They are nice enough. They live above us. They have a 5 year old girl. She lives with a guy who is not the little girl's dad and sometimes we call him Zeus. We see them in passing every once in a while. We'll take their mislabeled mail to them sometimes, and they'll knock on the door to tell me I left my keys in the lock outside again.

Anyway, the point is, we see them once in a while, but sporadically enough that it makes it awkward.

Ever since we have lived here, I have been surprised at the level of activity these neighbors of ours keep up at really weird hours of the night. Piano concerts at 11:30 or the huge dog running back and forth and the little girl jumping around at 3 AM. I wonder what they could possibly be doing up there. This happens quite often, and I have continued being perplexed. Does this little girl have a sleep schedule? School? It's so weird!

But lately, I have noticed something a tad more sinister.
I do get waken up by loud noises when I'm sleeping in my bed.
But it's not the dog.
And it's not the little girl.
And it's increasingly rhythmic.


I just have to know. Do you guys have THOSE neighbors? Where you can know....things?
I'm not talking about them peeing or showering. you KNOW what I'm talking about here.

Also, is it just me, or is a consistent 3:30 AM time slot a normal time slot for these kinds of things? 
And isn't one time enough at 3:30 in the morning? Or is four times the norm? Because I'm pretty sure that last night, They were going on their fifth adventure when I groggily threw something really heavy at my ceiling and they stopped. 

And I wasn't going to blog about it, but I was just sitting peacefully on my bed reading Hunger Games this afternoon at 3, and there it was again. That unmistakable noise! The horror! I can't get away from it! It propelled me into this online rant, which may or may not be kosher.

So I'm thinking in my head, "Is it me? Or is it them? Am I missing something awesome at 3:30 AM? Am I old? Do we need to step it up? Do I avert my eyes when I see them?"

I just don't know. I hate that I have been having super sonic hearing lately. And at least 3-4 times a week, I'll wake up Dale to say, "Hey. they're doing it again. It was a little short this time", or different variations of that. He just grunts and turns over, and I have to lay on my back trying to think of something other than that.

Moral of the story:

Move your bed away from the wall. It's that simple.


  1. Hahahahahaha that is hilarious!! My neighbors are extremly loud at 3 am but thank goodness not in that sense...mainly just your normal dance parties with their four kids! It kills me what people do behind closed doors but forget they have open walls. Hey, maybe you can keep up once this baby comes hahaha ;) Just kidding! ha

  2. haha gross. i have never had those neighbors so i have no good advice other than ear plugs!!

  3. the last month of my pregnancy I was on bed rest so I spent most hours of the day in bed (obviously)... our upstairs neighbors had a vibrating bed that would shake our room and was way loud! it sucked!

  4. hahaha ewww I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. When I was first married we lived above a "screamer"!!! It was terrible. I began to think I was doing it wrong because she was so loud hahaha yes TMI but really like you said..move your bed away from the wall and if your wife is screaming bloody murder, thats what pillows are for? HAHAHA

  5. Oh Elyse that cartoon is now top on my favorite cartoon list I can verify the dog and child running but luckily missed out on the other. Good thing too....I may have taken a broom after Dale to leave my daughter alone! Also I heard men get SRH not PMS. It stands for sperm retention headache. Ain't none a that goin on up there I'm not even sure his spearm is being made quickly enough to be little swimmers!

  6. So funny! We had that problem in Provo when a newlywed couple moved in next door. Their bed was against the same wall ours was and it was summer so we both had our windows open and she way noisy! Maybe they are trying for another baby and it will end soon...

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  8. This post reminded me of a VERY awkward night years ago.
    It was the night of a cousin's mission farewell party and there was just a few family members and close friends still hanging out, when all of a sudden we heard noises coming from his parents' bedroom upstairs.

  9. You remember our screamer upstairs? They got pregnant and it stopped. Hope your neighbors are fertile!



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