the girl that burned her face off


the following story is true.

Once upon a time,  there was a girl who was making enchiladas.

Red sauce enchiladas, with red sauce made from scratch.

It was a new recipe, but one that looked delicious. 

She knew her husband would be super excited, because he's a guy that loves enchiladas.

Things were going nicely. The chicken was cooking, the sauce simmering. The aroma of Mexican food filled her little apartment, and she only had a few red splatters from the sauce on her shirt.

Her husband came waltzing through the door, spun her around, and gave her a big smacker right on the mouth, then declared his undying love and hunger pangs in the same sentence. 

"Have no fear!", said she. "dinner will be ready momentarily!"

This girl was happily cutting and dicing a spicy jalapeno to add to that delectable red sauce simmering just on the stove. 

De-seeded and beautifully chopped, she dumped said jalapeno right in the sauce, and touched her face at the sheer beauty of the made-from-scratch red sauce. 

But all was not well. All of a sudden, a burning sensation such as she had never encountered started at the corner of her eye. she scratched it.  suddenly, it moved to both cheeks. by this time, the girl started to worry. because her face was starting to feel as if it might melt right off. 

And then. Well, then, the burning intensified. agony! oh the horror! her whole entire face, from her noble forehead to her defined chin was on fire! She held her face in her hands and caught the faint whiff of jalapeno. She then realized her mistake. 

Jalapeno juice. her mortal enemy.

on her hands.
seeped into her pores.
ruining her face and her pride.

She bellowed at her husband to get her ice! water! a big bowl! hurry! stir the sauce! I'm melting! aaarrgggg!

Her gallant husband with an unmistakable and weirdly joyful grimace on his face pulled out the biggest bowl in their possession, filled it with cold water, and dumped a tray of ice cubes inside. 

She could stand it no longer. she crouched on the ground and dunked her entire face into the bowl. 
Pure bliss! Until....she couldn't breath under water. 

Next plan: ice pack.

She lay defeated on the couch, clutching the ice pack to her face, moaning and demanding he call his mother, call her mother! What doth one do for a jalapeno that is melting off one's face?!

Alas, after much debating, advice and fairy dust, the couple realized that there was nothing to do for a jalapeno intent on burning off a beautiful maiden's face. The cooking must go on!

and go on it did.

She continued reading her recipe off of her mobile device.
She continued adding to the red sauce.

All the while, a fire continued to rage across every square inch of her face, and her husband kept making odd noises that sounded a lot like laughs, but could only be sobs of anguish at seeing his sweetheart in such a compromising and embarrassingly painful position.

And as every story does, this one has a happy ending.
The enchiladas were delicious, and the maiden's face was only mildly splotchy at worship service the next day. She looked as if she had a nice tan.

And they lived happily ever after.
the end.

 please excuse the blurry pictures. husband could only find time to capture blurry pictures of the event through tears of his own.


  1. those look yummy! i like that your burning face didn't stop you from finishing your domestic duties! such a good wife.

  2. Thank you for a good hearty chuckle! I can laugh because I once snuck a bite of my husbands posole, not realizing he had already added a generous amount of hot sauce to it. I stampered around smacking the counter top for several minutes, while I thought my ears were burning off. :)

    PS I'd love to have your recipe.

  3. Oh my gracious, child, you are gifted!!! You made me laugh hysterically while feeling sorry for you the entire while....that is so tragically hilarious! Thanks for sharing. I love you!

  4. Ha Ha you crack me up always... too bad I am so old or we would have been besties in high school... haha ... Anyways thanks for the comments on my blog, you are still WAY better then me so don't argue.. THanks and Love you and that baby girl!

  5. Haha Thanks for making my day! I have done the exact same thing!!! I definitely couldn't put it in those eloquent words. haha I am glad your enchiladas turned out...I need the recipe!! :)

  6. I absolutely LOVE your writing...and the pictures are priceless. Please forgive me for any past comments. I promise to be kind in every way!!!

    *I have done this exact scenario...and have true sympathy:)

  7. This is hilarious. That is all. :)

  8. I love you. Everything about you.

  9. You made my week! You are gifted, no doubt about it! hahaha



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