the real fourth happenings


County fairs = droopy tattoos, unwanted cleavage, 70's make up, and the faint smell of puke in the air delicately mixed with animal crap and grease in a pot. I should invent that fragrance.
 I'd name it "White Trash at Your Fair" 

So, instead of swimming and doing non-sweaty things on Independence Day, we decided to find the most sweaty, stinky, sticky, over-priced and over-crowded thing we could. The county fair was our concluding contender. 

We decided to go to the Marin County Fair in honor of my sister Marinn.
And because there was a free Chinese Acrobats show.

 Aside from getting some cliche Iphone Polaroids of Ferris Wheels to practice for when my Instax Mini comes, the fair was a overrated. I admit, my expecations were a little rose-colored after reading about the World's Fair Exposition, 1893 in Devil in the White City (which was an awesome book btw).  No clean fair grounds? No Cracker Jacks or Indians in Canoes? No beautiful buildings? No serial killer? What is this? I got gypped. 

But then we got to pet a fat pit, smell a llama, and eat a greasy corndog. It all evened out in the end.

I think I'm turning in a granola San Franciscan, because after reading Watership Down, I wanted to speak to the captured rabbits in a British accent and let them out of their inhumane cages. 
"Be free! Go eat some heather in the meadow!"
Just kidding. It was a passing thought, and then I laughed and remembered that Dale used to eat these things for dinner. Mwahaha. Take that, magician rabbit! He probably ate your cousin.

 After the Chinese Acrobat show (which was also awesome btw), we checked out a cool art exhibit (also awesome btw). I never knew such a thing existed, but that may be because I've only been to the Iron County Fair. I've seen my fair share of quilts, and enough huge cucumbers to last me a life time. But Bonsai trees? Not so much. Naked portraits? Never. A recycling piece? Didn't even know they existed. Not in good ole Utah.

 I got so many pictures of the Ferris Wheel. And you want to know something lame? I never even got to ride it. We chose Jamba over dust-filled lungs.

Then our day got even better. Because we had a gourmet meal of hamburgers and feta cheese made on the George Forman (we like to go against the grain of real BBQ's....or we just don't have a grill), a bag of chips each, and a piece of corn on the cob all consumed by our two cute little selves.

 Then we drove around for 30 minutes looking for soft serve ice cream until we settled for our own 900 calories of Haagen Dazs to eat during the fireworks show, and then watched the fireworks show on our own little blanket.

The weather was beautiful and perfect, I was eating creme brulee ice cream, snuggled up to my favorite person in the world, talking about life and listening to the neighboring boys fart in each other's faces, and I felt truly happy in this new place. It was peaceful and happy laying stretched out and tangled up with each other, and I thought, "Lucky me".

Then we made out.

Life is lovely.


  1. There are too many things on here that made me laugh! I'd call your 4th a success. What's more American than white trash?

  2. Elyse, you always make me laugh!

  3. Oh that's funny. I didn't know I was known as Gramma on the blogs. (I NEVER leave comments) I guess that's how I signed in when Jannah first started her blog about 7 years ago. It's me...your monster-in-law!



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