Mr. Right

6.29.2011

When I was in college and my then-boyfriend was on an LDS mission, my mom sent me a present.

I was a little down because....ya.....I was one of THOSE girls in college. 

The kind that watched Breakfast at Tiffany's by herself, stuffing her face with fresh fruit and cool whip.

The kind that got off work at 11 PM. Just in time to get to Carl's Junior and load up on cellulite with a side of jiggle please.

The kind that got asked out by the most impossibly impossible guys at the whole college (the possibly gay kid, the very large choir kid, that short skinny tenor in choir....or the hott guy who never bothered calling you back.....or the one kid who was running for Mr. Dixie, told me his dad owned a bank 1.1 million times that night, AND he had a CD of Celine Dion love songs playing in his obviously borrowed BMW. What a player......or the other guy who was more interested in his Korean soap operas than me.....)

Ya. Ouch.

You can say that again. 
OUCH.

I was so anti-guy that I pulled a stunt like thinking cutting my hair would solve all my problems and make me a feminist. You know...because I didn't need a man and guys only think girls with long hair are sexy.

Right?

That's what I thought. So I was just nixing my chances as much as I could.

That was when my mom sent me my own perfect man. Mr. Right, if you will.




"Hi Honey-

You'll find your Mr. Right soon enough. Until then, here's one to hold you over.

-Love your legit mom"

(I made that slightly nauseating note up. My mom is not that tacky, at least not in words. But the intention was there, and I liked it.)


So I put it on my board in my college apartment, and changed his clothes according to my mood. 

-Going on another forced date? Mr. Right will wear the tux.
-Feeling awesome? Mr. Right will wear the Super Guy singlet/cape combo.
-Friday night alone? We'll be twinners: he can wear his socks, underwear and a cowboy hat, and so will I.
-Just watched Grease? Pull out the leather jacket.
Dateless for Valentines? Outfit includes heart-spotted boxers.
-Been a long time since you had action? Mr. Right wears his underwear only.

That's kind of the relationship we had. A malleable mood board of a man. 



Then I met this guy. 
He liked me with my stupid hair cut. 
He liked me with my awkward ways.
And I'm starting to see a likeness between my magnetic man, and the real one.

Can you spot it?



(Hint: They like to wear vests)

Call it fate, call it providence or plain dumb luck. Call it whatever you want.
I found my Mr. Right.
Thanks for the karma, Madre.

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