I took these pictures when Merrill was 3 weeks old on a luxuriously slow morning when the light was perfect and he was a sweet, cuddly ball of squishiness and I was feeling so happy to have four of us tangled in one big bed. He is still a sweet cuddly ball of even MORE squishiness (he's so chunky and I love it! His cheeks could keep a small army alive for a month!) and I still love all of us tangled in one big bed...even though Dale and I are dead-eyed, sleep deprived zombies and the kids are wide-eyed and ready to go.
I have neglected this part of my life because...hey. who has time for this stuff these days? It has me feeling a little guilty that Viv has had so much attention on this blog and Merrill is shafted. So for my records, here are a few things I want to remember about him:
He has a perfect little streak of bright blonde in his hair down by his neck. It's still just as blonde now as it was when he was born. It looks a little bit like the beginnings of a jedi braid or something equally awesome. And his rolls.....ooooooohhhhh his roooooollllls! They are delicious!!
Now he is almost two months old, and such a little sweetheart. He has this little pleasant, slight smile on his face all the time, and though he does cry and always wants to be held and is kind of the worst sleeper ever, his sweet little face gets me every time. He eats like a champ (obviously), and after he does, he's the most talkative, smiley baby. He almost always has a death grip on my shirt and my hair and is happiest when he's laying on my chest with his head is tucked under my chin. He's a mama's boy, and it's about time a kid likes me more than Dale! But really, my back is killing me and I sway and bounce even when I'm not holding him -- yes, I would like a break, thanks Mo.
But speaking of dads (just roll with it), it's so heart melting to see these two together. Dale has been busy and wasn't around for the newborn pictures we had taken (coming soon!), so according to my instagram lately, it looks like I kind of had a baby on my very own...immaculate conception and all that. But he IS here! The father does exist! Just thought I'd throw that out there, in case people were wondering at his lack of appearances on my social media (i know it's been the height of your worries).
And speaking of heart melting, these two together is the best part of my life right now. Viv loves him and has from the beginning. She is always covering him with blankets, smothering him with kisses and hugs (literally), smashing his face with her two little hands, yelling excitedly in his face and always asking him "have nice nap Mo?" when he wakes up from his naps. She insists on always helping me change his diaper and loves to include him in anything she's doing. I am so so happy that this transition has been so smooth with her. She has been happy that he's around since the day he arrived, and I'm so grateful for that. When he was born and she was visiting us in the hospital, she was a little concerned about the bracelets we all had on our arms and wanted one too. So the cute nurses wrote "big sister" on a bracelet and gave it to her. I kid you not, that thing stayed on Viv's wrist for FIVE WEEKS. she did not take it off once, not for anything. It got wrinkled and dirty and started to fade, but she still wouldn't take it off. And then one day, she did, and i have it saved in her little journal. It is something I will always remember about this time.
So, although there is so much going on and so much to catch up on and so little time and so many times I will choose sleep over blogging (over anything really..sex and eating included), I'm hoping to be around a little more, find a little bit of my old self in this old blog and catch up on my life. There's something to getting back into a routine and remembering who and what you are outside of the 25/8 job of being a mom who is also a milk cow and a gold-medalist at multi-tasking and a chef and a taxi, etc, etc.
So that's that. I'll keep checking in and hopefully things will start getting back to normal around here. Until then (who knows when then will be), sayonara peeps. It's been real.
PS: This was written late at night and I was tired but determined to get something done....so if it makes no sense...well, now you know why. I can't be blamed for this kind of nonsense, if that's what it is.